he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My bed smells like the plague
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
