You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
