Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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