Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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