he wants to bone in the snuggie
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
