If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
