Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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