ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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