dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
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im holly from the hills drunk
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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