If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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