Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
