bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
