drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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