A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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