After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
