Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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