I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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