i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
