If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
