I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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