I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
