I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
