U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize