Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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