1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
