He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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