...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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