Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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