I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
