I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
