So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize