if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
