STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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