i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
