where am i from again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
