You're completely useless in the revolution.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
