The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
