ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
