Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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