In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
