i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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