I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
