that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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