she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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