Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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