HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize