Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
