She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
