you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize