You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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