It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
