The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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