I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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