just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
