Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I want is dick and wine.
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