pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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