Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
