white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the day after is always just damage control
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
