I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
