So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
