oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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