I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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