Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
