I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
