i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize